no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
