We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
