Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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