He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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