Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
