you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
