the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
