That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
