He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
