I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize