Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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