Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
