office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
