Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
