And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
