Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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