We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
