Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
