can u get pink eye on your cock?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
