Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
