Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
