Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
