every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
