very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
