He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
