Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
