Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
