and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
