Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize