This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
