i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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