its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
