.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
