Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
