I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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