My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
