Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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