The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
did i just pee glitter
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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