her vagine was all disorganized.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize