I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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