are you still at the devil's house?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
