so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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