Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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