i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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