Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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