You're a womanizer and a bitch.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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