put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
