He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize