I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She said her name was "party"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just threw up on my dentist
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize