...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
