The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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