i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
