whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
