lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
