There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
did you just send me my own nude
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
