please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
