i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
