I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
