I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
