Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So. Much. Porn.
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