My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize