I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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