dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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