I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
