Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
