We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
