How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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