Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A+ Viking dick
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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