I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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