I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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