I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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