we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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