people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
